


lonely

by happyhannie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, doyoung deserves the world, jaehyun works too hard, lapslock, rated t for two bad words, taeil is a supportive best friend who’s not mentioned that much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 16:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17145146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyhannie/pseuds/happyhannie
Summary: the day doyoung planned to spend with jaehyun and the hours in which jaehyun didn’t come home.





	lonely

8am ————

“good morning baby,” jaehyun spoke lazily to doyoung as his eyes slowly opened. doyoung flashed him a breath-taking smile before cuddling further into his chest and wrapping his arms just a little tighter around the younger’s waist. 

“good morning,” doyoung spoke for the first time that day in a raspy and low voice that jaehyun thought he could never get tired of hearing. seeing doyoung like this, with his bare face and messy hair and deep voice was all for jaehyun, no one else would see this beautiful side of the elder and that made jaehyun feel infinitely special.

jaehyun was a hard worker and he worked for long hours with only one day off a week on which he usually slept for most of the time. of course, doyoung also worked but for today he was at home as jaehyun had promised a week ago that he would take a half day.

“i love you jaehyunnie, hurry home please,” doyoung smiled before jaehyun planted a light kiss upon his forehead and pushed the covers back. as per usual, he left doyoung alone in the bed to watch as he got ready for work and he bid the elder goodbye with a loving kiss before he left the room. doyoung poured all of his emotions and excitement into that kiss, even if he did have morning breath.

 

9am ————

jaehyun had left for work and doyoung had gotten out of bed pretty much as soon as he heard the door slam. if this day was to be perfect for him and jaehyun then he was going to cook perfect food. he firstly began preparing some of jaehyun’s favourite desserts before leaving them to either set or cook as he moved on to their main meal. 

as he paraded around the kitchen, he blasted his and jaehyun’s playlist that they had made together and his heart soared at all of the beautiful love songs that both him and his boyfriend had selected. the thought that jaehyun had spent time picking sweet and beautiful songs that simply reminded him of doyoung made the elder’s heart fill with unexplainably strong love. 

he danced to the songs as he lovingly cooked for jaehyun. he was unsure of why but somehow whenever he was cooking for jaehyun, he seemed to take the slightest extra care when preparing the dish. he wanted everything to be perfect because to him, jaehyun deserved nothing less than the absolute finest that doyoung could offer. 

the elder felt proud as he tasted some of the dish before giving it his seal of approval and placing it on the heat. his night in with jaehyun would be absolutely perfect. 

 

10am ————

this was perhaps what doyoung was most nervous about for the night. he travelled upstairs and sat on his side of their bed as he opened his bedside drawer. hidden beneath some unnecessary paperwork lay a velvet black box that doyoung had been desperately attempting to conceal for weeks now. 

it wasn’t an engagement ring, no. even though the two had been together for 3 years, doyoung understood that they were still far too young for marriage. it was a promise ring. doyoung was going to give it to show that no matter what, he couldn’t see the rest of his life without the younger. jaehyun’s presence was one of the few things that doyoung wished would forever stay constant in his life. 

the boy squeezed the box in his palm before closing the drawer and taking it downstairs to place it in the pocket of the jeans that he would wear later. he smiled when he saw the item of clothing, jaehyun had bought him the jeans for their first christmas together and ever since whenever doyoung had worn them, the brightest smile would grace his face and doyoung’s heart would momentarily stop beating. like jaehyun’s presence, those smiles were also something that doyoung wanted to remain in his life. 

he slipped the box into the pocket of the jeans and figured that he’d change about an hour before jaehyun was due to arrive home. doyoung wanted to look the best he had ever looked because again, jaehyun only deserved the best that he could possibly give. everything had to be perfect.

 

11am ————

as 2pm drew closer and closer, doyoung began to daydream about what might become from this night. he imagined jaehyun’s smiling face when he saw the food he’d prepared; he imagined his bright smile when he saw him wearing the jeans he’d bought him; he imagined the tears of joy in his boyfriends eyes when he offered him the ring. 

jaehyun’s smiles and happiness filled doyoung with such glee that the elder just wanted to constantly see his boyfriend’s smiling face for the rest of his days. the way his eyes turned into crescents and the skin around them crinkled made doyoung’s heart beat just that little bit faster than usual. 

jaehyun was almost ethereal. there was a glow around him, not only was he beautiful but he was kind and funny and talented. doyoung could barely fathom how he had gotten so lucky. he couldn’t believe that jung jaehyun loved him, kim dongyoung, the idea just didn’t seem correct but somehow it was. perhaps luck was to thank but to whatever doyoung owed jaehyun’s love, he was eternally grateful. 

 

12pm ————

as the clock struck twelve, doyoung was on the phone to his best friend taeil excitedly telling him what he had prepared. “i’m so excited hyung! i’ve made his favourite meal and i’m going to give him that ring that i bought!” 

“doyoungie he’s going to be so happy, you know that jaehyun really thinks the world of you and seeing how much you care for him is going to make him combust,” taeil laughed down the phone which only increased doyoung’s happy mood even more. 

“you really think so hyung?”

“doyoung, jaehyun looks at you like you just pinned all of the stars up in the sky, you’re the greatest thing he has ever had, he’s said that to me himself, anything you do for him he will love,” taeil explained and doyoung swore he had never felt so happy.

“i just love him so much hyung and the thought of him being happy just makes me want to smile so much, he’s everything to me.”

“i know and you’re everything to him.”

for the first time for doyoung, he felt as if he actually meant everything to someone, he felt wanted and loved.

 

1pm ————

at 1, doyoung lost every shred of cool that he had previously possessed. he was a perfectionist by nature and the fact that he was preparing not only for himself but for jaehyun amplified this. he laid the table almost 7 times as he constantly kept wondering if one of the forks was straight of not or if the wine glasses should be on the opposite side or if the candle wasn’t in the dead centre of the table. 

he cleaned the room quickly as well, a light dusting could never hurt and neither could a fresh spray of perfume. after he deemed everything to be perfect, doyoung still knew that there was no time for him to rest. he checked the recipe for the food over and over again just to be certain that he had added the correct amount of seasoning and he tasted it a bit to make sure it was edible. 

after being satisfied with the food, doyoung sat down on the sofa ready to pass the next minutes bobbing his knee up and down as he awaited jaehyun’s arrival and the butterflies rose in his stomach. it was almost as if doyoung was preparing for their first date once again. taeil would walk through the door and they would sit for an hour pondering over which pair of jeans would really show off his legs and which sweater would show off his broad shoulders. 

yet, it wasn’t a first date. doyoung knew jaehyun well and he knew that as well as a nice day with his boyfriend, the day would be a respite for him. lately, doyoung had found that jaehyun had been a bit of a workaholic which was the reason for doyoung being so glad that this day had been scheduled in his boyfriend’s calendar. jaehyun needed a break and it was doyoung’s duty as a good boyfriend to make sure he was healthy and happy and that was exactly what he was going to do. 

so doyoung got dressed into the clothes that he knew jaehyun loved and smiled at he felt the ring box in the pocket of his jeans. he only hoped that jaehyun would accept his love. 

 

2pm ————

when doyoung watched the figures on his phone flick over to 14:00, he was out of his chair like a shot. he checked himself in the mirror quickly before standing by the front door where he almost shook with excitement and anticipation and love. he was stood with the stars in his eyes, butterflies in his stomach and a deep love in his heart. doyoung was sure that he had never felt an emotion this deep and powerful before, jaehyun had awoken something inside of him that he hadn’t known existed. 

as the minutes creeped by, doyoung’s excitement only got stronger. jaehyun would never have been back at exactly two as he only left work then and it took him perhaps 25 minutes to get home depending on the traffic. so doyoung waited for him for a little longer as he wondered about the fact that there was so much traffic at such a time in the afternoon. 

it’s probably the end of the lunch rush, he told himself and nodded whilst not letting the bright smile slip off his face. it remained a permanent fixture as the boy thought of how jung jaehyun was driving now on his way home, on his way home to doyoung. the food was ready and the candle was lit with the couple’s playlist softly echoing throughout the room as doyoung patiently waited. 

“he’ll be here soon,” doyoung told himself softly and he sat down in the hallway and began to hum the songs to himself with a happy smile upon his face. 

“he’s not far away now i know it,” he told himself a few minutes later when the next song came on. 

 

3pm ————

it must have been an accident causing the traffic, although doyoung couldn’t find one online. or it must have been a small hold up at jaehyun’s work. he couldn’t contact him as jaehyun had forgotten his phone at home today but doyoung didn’t mind. he had switched the heat down on the food and the candle wouldn’t go out for another few hours or so and he had spares anyway and he could replay the playlist an infinite amount of times and still not get sick of the songs. everything was fine.

doyoung decided to move from his resident spot in the hallway to the couch in the front room that had the best view of the street. he wanted to be able to open the door to jaehyun and kiss him as sweetly as he possibly could. jaehyun deserved the world and doyoung knew that he had to do his best to give it to him. the scent of his perfume had worn off a little so doyoung sprayed again and let the fresh smell take over his senses before he focussed back on the street and waiting for jaehyun, he wouldn’t forgive himself if he missed his boyfriend’s arrival. 

he waited for a little while longer before moving to take a seat on the comfier sofa across the room. it was okay if jaehyun was a little late, perhaps he just got held up with something important at work. doyoung smiled again at the thought that everything was okay because jaehyun would be home soon and he would be able to cuddle into the younger boys arms and feel nothing but intense love. 

“he’ll be home soon,” doyoung thought aloud before smiling softly and walking into the kitchen to turn down the food once again. 

 

4pm ————

doyoung sat in the kitchen staring at the clock that hung on the wall as it ticked to 4. he supposed that jaehyun had simply gotten caught up at work with something more important and wasn’t able to call as he’d left his phone at home. it was fine, jaehyun’s work was important and doyoung knew that it meant a lot to him and besides, he could wait perhaps another hour before the food would ruin. 

doyoung only revelled in the idea that every second he spent waiting was a second closer to the time that jaehyun would be home and if he was two hours late then so be it. it wasn’t like they didn’t have a lot of time tonight and doyoung smiled so brightly at the thought that they could spend all of the time together and jaehyun wouldn’t get tired and have to go off to bed early. 

every tick of the clock was a second closer and doyoung counted them as he awaited jaehyun’s familiar knock at the door or his keys rattling if he hadn’t forgotten them like most times. doyoung awaited everything that made jaehyun jaehyun, he imagined how apologetic he would be at his slight lateness to which doyoung would tell him not to be stupid. he imagined the younger talking about his day and himself laughing at his memoirs and funny moments he had shared with his colleagues. doyoung was excited to get a window into jaehyun’s work life. considering the fact that the younger spent most of his time working or sleeping, they rarely got the chance to talk anymore. doyoung considered it vital to a healthy relationship that the two would share and he cared about jaehyun enough to want to hear every single one of his stories no matter how dull or unfunny they may seem to him. doyoung’s laugh was always the loudest when in chorus with jaehyun’s. 

5pm ————

it was odd, doyoung thought, that jaehyun wasn’t back by now. even if he had got caught up at work he wasn’t heartless enough to leave doyoung waiting this late. the food was basically ruined and even if it wasn’t it wouldn’t taste that good any more, the candle had been replaced with a new one that seemed to be burning out two times faster than the other one and the playlist had finished a few minutes ago for the third time, doyoung didn’t have the heart to restart it. he now sat on the couch staring out of the window again. every time he heard a distant car his heart would jump but every time it drove past it would only sink back down again. 

“he’ll come home soon,” doyoung told himself lightly with a hint of resignation now threading through his voice. what if jaehyun had forgotten? 

no. jaehyun loved doyoung and he was just as excited for this day as the elder, doyoung was sure of it, so why was jaehyun not there? doyoung hugged a pillow close to his chest as he rested his head on the back of the sofa and looked out to the street once again. his heart broke a little more with every tick he heard from his watch and it now seemed that rather than every second passing being a second closer to jaehyun, every second made him a little further away. 

in a last ditch attempt to save their day, doyoung took the food off the heat and put it into two freeze containers to leave on the side. he took a sticky note and carefully wrote jaehyun’s name on it in his beautiful cursive writing complete with a heart before sticking it on the one container before he quickly scrawled his own name on another and stuck it on his. if jaehyun wasn’t home for the food now, he could always appreciate doyoung’s work when he got home. eventually. 

then doyoung sat back on the couch but this time facing away from the street as he closed the curtains to block out the inky sky. the streetlights brightness made no difference to doyoung’s dull mood as he hugged his legs to his chest and fought back every tear that got close to falling. jaehyun would be home soon. 

 

6pm ————

he wasn’t coming. there was no way that he had simply been held back, jaehyun had forgotten. he had forgotten the light on doyoung’s face when the idea had been suggested, he had forgotten that doyoung had promised to make his favourite dish, he had forgotten that he was supposed to be at home with his boyfriend. it broke the elder’s heart. 

his tears that he had no strength to fight back flushed down his face as he felt more lonely than he ever had in his life. jaehyun didn’t want him and who was he to interrupt taeil’s date with a boy who he had been pining for for 3 months because of his relationship problems? doyoung wished that jaehyun wanted him as much as taeil wanted that boy, he wished that jaehyun loved him as strongly as he loved jaehyun, he wished that he didn’t have to wish for the love of the one person who was supposed to love him unconditionally. he felt hopeless and lost. 

he stared blankly at the candle on the table that he had laid so precisely because everything just had to be perfect for jaehyun. the flame flickered in the still air and doyoung hated its vibrance and light and energy, he stared at it until it burnt out just as jaehyun’s love for him had. he laughed bitterly at the irony, he had lit it with such love and hope and watched it burn out with the same love but no hope. what even was hope? doyoung was sure it was just a mix of stupidity and inevitability merging into one fictional force. with the state that he was in currently, doyoung had given up on hope.

 

7pm ————

he wasn’t home. doyoung still sat alone curled up in jaehyun’s blanket hugging a pillow in front of the lit fireplace. it seemed so cold in the house now that the candle had burned out and the food had probably gone cold. doyoung had no intention of moving it into the fridge as he didn’t want to move, every ounce of energy had been taken from him and now all that he could do was cry.

he wasn’t really sure how many tears he had left in his body, he only knew that they kept pouring and that he didn’t know when they would stop. even if jaehyun walked through the door at this very moment, doyoung knew that he would continue to cry because he knew what was about to happen. jaehyun didn’t want him anymore. 

doyoung rolled over slightly only to feel a sharp edge pressing into his leg from his pocket. he reached down and pulled out a small black box. for a moment his world stopped, he stopped crying, he stopped thinking, he stopped breathing and he simply stared as he opened the box and discarded it next to him before clutching the golden ring in his palm. then everything crashed upon him. 

his sobs got louder as he thought about how he imagined jaehyun’s face to be when he gave him this ring compared to jaehyun’s face would look in an hour or so when he told doyoung that he didn’t love him anymore. doyoung felt the cold metal on his skin as he thought about how he had meticulously selected this exact ring because he knew that jaehyun was fussy and wouldn’t wear just anything in such plain view. doyoung thought that he knew jaehyun so well when in reality, he didn’t even know him well enough to realise that he’d fallen out of love. 

 

8pm————

doyoung had lost track of time by now, the ring still lay in his hand and odd tears still fell from his eyes even though most of them had dried up now. his eyes were red and swollen and his hair was sticking up in more angles than he thought were possible. he was broken. 

it was then that he failed to hear the jingling of keys from outside, the opening of the front door, shoes being placed in the hallway and footsteps on the floor. jaehyun was home. 

when the younger stood in the doorway and saw doyoung’s figure wrapped in his blanket lying by the fire he was confused. doyoung still hadn’t noticed his presence and he was facing away from where jaehyun stood. “doyoungie i’m home.”

then doyoung knew, the elder felt the tears rushing from his eyes again as his sobs got heavier and he sat up and faced his boyfriend for the first time. “hyunnie.” he managed to croak out in a voice that sounded as if he hadn’t drank for a week. 

“doyoungie, what’s wrong baby, are you okay?” jaehyun moved immediately so he was sat next to doyoung but the elder only moved away. 

“don’t,” he said quickly making jaehyun confused, “please don’t.” 

“doyoung baby you’re scaring me what’s happening please tell me what’s wrong,” jaehyun pleaded now with a panicked tone. 

“don’t p-pretend jaehyunnie it’s not f-fair please, it’s o-okay i understand, j-just say it and i’ll s-stay with taeil from now on and y-you can move on a-and… a-and,” doyoung’s voice faded into move heavy sobs as jaehyun’s heart sank. 

“doyoungie what are you saying? i don’t want you to go? what do you want me to say?” jaehyun asked with tears now leaking from his eyes after seeing his boyfriend in such a distraught state. 

“y-you dont love me anymore,” doyoung managed to tell him before breaking into another fit of sobs. jaehyun was stunned into silence, he didn’t know what to say or do so doyoung continued, “i-i understand i’m not m-mad you don’t have to w-worry, i know these things happen and i-it’s okay,” doyoung kept speaking as he began to move out of the blanket and begin to stand up. 

“doyoung wait sit down please,” jaehyun finally spoke through heavy shock and tears, “how could you possibly ever think that i don’t love you anymore?” 

“what?” doyoung asked as if jaehyun was going insane, “no you can’t do this to me hyunnie you owe me the truth,” doyoung spoke pleadingly and jaehyun’s heart broke all over again. 

“no no no this is the truth kim dongyoung, you are the best person i have ever met, i love everything about you even your odd habits and your stubbornness, i will love you until the end of time please never think that i don’t love you again, it’s impossible to fall out of love with you, please never doubt that,” jaehyun spoke softly as he caressed doyoung’s face. yet the elder kept moving away. 

“then why didn’t you come home?” 

“what do you mean i’m here now, baby you know i work until half 7.”

“y-you you, you told me you were having half a day so that we could spend time together.”

that was when it all came crashing down on jaehyun. “shit, oh my god baby, doyoungie, shit you have no idea how, oh god doyoung, i’m such a horrible boyfriend, i don’t deserve you, i’m so sorry honestly, i don’t know how i forgot, you were so excited and i had planned it all out and i was going to buy you flowers and god doyoung i’m so sorry,” jaehyun rambled as he sobbed and doyoung reached out his hand that wasn’t holding the ring for jaehyun to hold.

“it’s okay hyunnie, don’t worry,” doyoung smiled to the best of his abilities through his heavy tears. he wanted to be there for jaehyun even though the younger had left him feeling so alone.

“no it’s not,” jaehyun said as he fought back his tears and tried to find his words, “i’ve been treating you awfully, i never talk to you anymore or spend time with you or kiss you or hug you or cook for you or anything,” he paused to gather his emotions again, “i don’t deserve you doyoung and you are so understanding and loving and the most beautiful person i have ever met inside and outside and i don’t know why i get to have someone like you but i do and i hurt you and i’m not just going to let you forgive me before i fight for your forgiveness.”

doyoung smiled softly before looking at jaehyun and taking in his state. his boyfriend was staring at him with eyes full of love and regret and sadness. he placed a light kiss to his boyfriend’s tear stained cheek before opening up jaehyun’s palm and pressing the golden ring into it. “i um… i wanted to give this to you tonight, i- i made us dinner, your favourite and i set the table and lit us a candle and i’m wearing those jeans i know you love and i wanted you to have this ring… it’s not binding or anything don’t worry and if you don’t want it i’ll get a refund or something but i chose it for you and um… i want you to have it and know that i will love your forever and i want to spend the rest of my life with you, think of it as my promise.”

jaehyun broke down again. his tears kept flowing down his cheeks faster than doyoung could brush them away, “i don’t deserve you, i don’t deserve you,” jaehyun kept repeating in an almost inaudible whisper as he cried in doyoung’s arms. he lifted his head with eyes still full of tears, “doyoungie i love you so much i can’t explain it and i want to be yours forever please let me be yours forever.”

“you can be mine forever jaehyunnie.”

“promise?”

doyoung didn’t reply, he just slipped the ring onto jaehyun’s finger and sealed his promise with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this, my heart kind of broke a bit when i wrote it because doyoung doesn’t deserve this slander. again thank you for reading :)) any kind of feedback would be amazing :)) also sorry for posting this on christmas i genuinely couldn’t wait else i would have forgotten to post this so uh… merry christmas?? :))


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